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| tonight is megans prom....and we are in a fight...on her prom... :(
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| It has been i while since i have got on here- But o well...
Well, this week(s) have been shit...umm...everything from my bestest friend to boys to the rents to schoool to friends has gone down the drain. I try and fix things, but it just seems like everything i try to fix turns to shit- When everything is perfect, I end up screwing it up- I dont know anymore- Im not sure what life is trying to tell me here- I cant seem to find the answer to tht question.
Okay, me and my best friend, have been best friends, and basically sisters for 10years now. We have not really had any down falls till this year. This year, we have had our first fight, and our first down fall over every stupid thing. Mainly, i think bc of me. I tend to seem to like conflicts apparently. I can find the gayest shit to fight over. Though i always seem to blame it on her, and know tht its really me, and right now, im taking a BIG step, by admiting tht it is mostly my fault. Maybe this will help, but anyway. I yell at her and cuss at her thinking its okay, but i dont think i think about her feelings or about how i reallly do treat her and others. I let very ltl things get to me, and when something gets to me, i cant seem to beable to do anything but yell about it and get really upset about it and let it allll out. To my best friend, im sorry and i love you soo much and i hope you know tht, and just bc you are older than me, though i know its never mattered or seemed to matter before, i hope it doesnt start to- I Love you.
2nd thing- i cant seem to listen to no1, when they specificly told me to not say anything to any1. I opened my mouth once again, and all good things turned to straight up the ass HELL. I have relized tht i need to just keep my mouth shut and not say a thing to no1. Now, i think i might do a ltl better job at tht, considering what happened tonight- I think i might have learned my lesson on alot lately...I am actually starting to admit when i make mistakes and when i mess up and when things are my fault...Which for me, is hard, and i BIG step up from what i used to be-
3rd thing- I dont know what has been going on. I have beeen soo stressed. I have had awful side pains, to the point i cant walk, and i think they have something to do with all the stress i have been going through. Which makes me wanna cry knowing tht i could have so much stress to make my body feel this way, but i guess things happen. I know tht life cant be perfect and shit happens, it happens every day, and i cant change it. I can except it and move on, but not stop or change it...I think tht is it for now. Im going to go to bed and clear my mind and think about everything.
I Love you megan nicole stultz...dont forget it....ever-
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| Well, where should i start? These past 2 weeeeks, has been SHIT....Me and megan have been fighting forever. We have beeen very very very bitchy towards each other, and have beeen hanging out less, and less. This morning, me and megan got into a really BIG fight, which tore me up SOOOO bad- We were no longer friends for the day (well until the end) Im not to sure what has been up here lately. Every1 has been telling me that i have changed and im not the cheerful girl i used to be. Im not to sure what is up with me. I know that right now, everything is prettty fucked up. I think most of everything hear lately, has been coming from stresss, but im not to sure....I cant really explain what my life has beeen like lately. I think that im trying to hard to do every and anything. My love life has gon down the drain (which is soooo sad, bc now the guy im inlove with but dont want to be with, is moving to Flordia, 12 fuckig hours away..that is a totally different story that i will share later.) But, for right now, i need sleep like woa* goooodnight for now. (: | | |
| I LOVE YOU MEGAN NICOLE STULTZ.... that is the only thing i wanted to get out :) | | |
| -Okay, so this is the deal, me and megan again got into it. Like usual. Haha. But yes i still LOVE HER very much. and that will never change. Ok last night. I went to the movies with mr. kevin marlowe. Which was good. Got a kiss, felt good to kiss some1 else and it not be Matt Hines. But still. the thing i thought about was matt hines. Im still very much inlove with him and dont know what to do. I love matt i do i love him with all my heart, but then there is kevin which i like yes, but do not love.
Ive been trying to get over mr. matt for about 1 month now. It really isnt working out as well as i planned. I planned to go out with other guys and get over matt and get on with my life and he to get on with his. Well, he doesnt want to move on, he is still very much so inlove with me, probaly more than anyone has ever been. I yes, want to get over him. Me and him dated on and off for about 5 months. Best damn 5 months of my life. Those 5 months came to an end. We started fussing alot and arguing. Then i started liking kevin and matt got mad. Then matt got drunk and kissed another girl which upset me sooo bad to the point i wanted to stick him sooooooo hard in his face but didnt. I felt heartbroken...again. We argued that nigth for about 1 hour. I cussed him out and then cried like i usually do cried myself to sleep like i do about once a week.. I miss him so bad. I think about the memories we had and about everything we have been through and about how much he meant to me and about how much i loved him...now the question is "am i ready to move on?" I want to so bad...but can I?* | | |
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